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Forgotten Prayers

Posted on May 20, 2014 by in Legacy | 3 comments

I force myself to eat,

I deny myself the pleasure.

I can’t control

anything.

Outside forces

choosing for me

to be stuck in the same place.

I deny my dreams

and settle 

for controlling what I can.

 

What goes in

and what goes out

is how it has to be.

I don’t know how

to let go

and let God

be in control.

 

It hurts to know

that I want to punish

myself for what I know.

I have no idea what I am doing

and yet,

I do it anyway.

It’s like Satan enjoys

watching me suffer.

 

Just when I thought

things might get better,

he only makes them worse.

I feel the need to run away

and be by myself

for once.

Why do I feel angry with God?

 

He gave me life.

He gives me love.

He gave me my son.

I feel so much pain inside.

 

I struggle with what’s next.

I can’t stand myself right now.

I don’t even remember

how to pray.

 

Please pray for me.

I need all the prayers I can get.

 

-Tanya Weitzel

3 Comments

  1. God gave us free will so that we may make choices. We can choose to hurt ourselves or help ourselves. Remember that YOU have the strength and the power, that God gave it to you, and that you are not at the mercy of outside forces. You can change it.

    You will be in my prayers.

    Gwen

  2. Thank you, Gwen. You will be in my prayers as well.

  3. Oh Tayna. Praying for you girl. Hope you can connect with someone and talk about this stuff.

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